ugh klonopin how i miss you so
long time since i’ve been on here. my life is 360 from what it was before. its kinda awesome. lol
If you relapse, repeat after me:
- You are not weak.
- You have not lost this battle.
- You are not selfish.
- You are not out of control.
- All the progress you made hasn’t magically disappeared.
- You are not a failure.
- Life is a cycle of highs and lows- good times are ahead, so keep going forward.
- You matter.
things have been going really well lately! i’ve decided for now i just need bryce in my life and i’m pretty okay with that. staying with him has helped me in many ways. plus my dog is basicaly my life source, makesme sleep less than 30 hours a day finally haha and also getting free zaxbys is something i dream about. plus doggie play time with bryces puppies and christinas puppy chewie :) my babe is passed out right now so i must go ;)
Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.
Dear future child
If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair
Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did
Please climb onto my bed
And I will hold you until the demons sleep
If it is Thursday morning and you are too sad to move
I won’t force you
I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance
If you feel as if you have no purpose
I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel too
When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore
I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers
But that five years later
When you were placed in my arms in the delivery room
I realised that you were why I had been holding on
Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is?
So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns magenta
I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too
Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings
As my mother was to mine.